Bob's story (Dave Stoker is racing in honor of Bob)

I am overwhelmed and honored to be even a little part of RAAM. I admire, respect, and wonder how people like you are able to transverse the country so quickly. As background, I am fifty-five and married for thirty-four years to my high school sweetheart, Sheila. We have one son, Aaron. I have been on the national Donor List for a liver for over eleven years now. I have been on the list for so long because I am fortunate to have recovered quickly from the very difficult HCV-related problems that arise.

Yet, I know someday without a transplant I will be afflicted with something I can't recover from or I will be so sick that surviving a transplant would be questionable. In the future when that time comes I hope there will be an organ waiting for me, not the other way around, like it often is today, where I will be lying in some bed somewhere waiting for a liver that may never arrive.

Aside from the obvious, I really don't understand why there is a transplant problem in this country. I look at it this way: If you take a piece of fruit and toss it on the ground, in a few short days it will whither, shrivel up and die, preventing someone the sustenance it could provide. But if you took the same piece of fruit and offered it to someone in need of nourishment, the piece of fruit lives on and becomes a part of the living universe and so does the recipient who can continue his or her journey. And all of us Dave, are on a journey somewhere. Clearly it is heart-breaking when a loved one's life is cut short by some unimaginable event, but isn't it much better to be able to help someone in a positive way out of such tragedy?

When I receive my transplant and my health returns, I will become a working contributing member of society again. I do miss the feeling you get from doing something productive and being able to stand tall and say, "I make a difference". I also hope I can get to the point where I participate in something like this race. I spoke to my transplant coordinator, Sharon Stencel at UCDMC and happened to mention your name. She said she knows you and that you're quite an amazing athlete.

Dedicated people like you go a long way to making organ transplantation more routine. I appreciate the dedication people like you have. I pray all goes well for you in this Race Across America. I hope this is close to what you are looking for in terms of getting a glimpse of who I am.

With warm regards and heartfelt gratitude I wish you a safe trip and record making time! I'll be watching.

Sheila's story

First, let me say how humbled and honored both my husband Bob and I are that you will be riding this year with his story and in his honor. Such news comes on the heels of Bob having been so ill and listed second at UCD in January, and now that his meld score has stabilized, he has dropped down again. Such ups and downs of illness followed by the brief partings of the clouds have been our path for about 11years now, since he was first listed for transplant in May of 1996. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

As Bob's wife if 34 years, I wanted to also give you an idea of who this man is. He served in the US Army, actually volunteered for the draft in 1971 because he couldn't afford college and thought the G.I. Bill would offer him an education. The military population has a much higher incidence of Hepatitis C (HCV) than civilians. Bob was exposed to HCV and it was not discovered until 1995 when he had back surgery. He was first listed in 1996 at California Pacific Medical Center (CPMC), He is also listed for transplant at the UC Davis Medical Center and the VA Hospital in Portland. A close friend of his from those Army days is also infected and is undergoing Interferon treatment. That friend knows of 3 others. It is likely they all contracted HCV from either the Jet Injector inoculations or the fact their drill sergeant would make them dry shave with shared razors in the field if he found that a cotton ball would stick to their cheek during daily inspections. Bob is 100% service connected disabled as a result.

Bob graduated from UC Berkeley in 1976 with a BA in Political Science. He had nearly completed his Masters at SF State prior to starting work with Pacific Bell. He worked there for 17 years before his symptoms had him forgetting appointments and slurring his speech. His supervisors thought he was not working up to par and when they downsized, Bob lost his job. Shortly after, he was diagnosed, so it all made a little more sense, but didn't help our financial outlook. In 1996, Bob took a hobby of mine, working with families to create custom memorial tributes and turned it into a business in the Bay Area - we were the premier printer for a few dozen funeral homes. He worked long hours to keep it going and we employed two people. As Bob's illness progressed, he could no longer work and the business was sold. We returned to a home we owned in the Sacramento area, where I work for AT&T and Bob waits for the phone to ring.

As Sharon Stencel will tell you, Bob is a remarkable person. Always upbeat, always in great humor. I can honestly tell you he has never had a bad word to say about anyone, and always is willing to give the last bit of energy he has to anyone in need. He has been through the rigors of various Interferon therapies, has been near death on too many occasions. Through it all, he remains hopeful he will receive a transplant before he is too ill to survive the operation. We have a 29 year old son, a struggling musician in Hollywood. I think much of the magic and darkness of his music comes from having spent the last 11 years watching his Dad struggle to manage the simple day to day events we all take for granted.

I am Canadian and one of the things we have been seriously considering is moving there in hopes the transplant would come sooner rather than later. Since only about 400 people in the entire country await a liver transplant we think he may get one faster there. My mother died when I was 12 of kidney failure. At that time, dialysis was quite rare. We were living in Tennessee and she had to be flown to Alabama for treatment. My mother died waiting for a transplant. My sister now has kidney disease and has been on dialysis for 3 years now, waiting for transplant.

I guess the hardest part of waiting, especially having worked so closely with the funeral industry for many years, is that life seems so cheap in this country that we can allow people to die and not offer the gift of life to someone in dire need. I struggle with trying to understand why so many people die before a transplant comes their way. I don't know if Bob is waiting to live or waiting to die - and it is unimaginable to watch sometimes.

I saw a film once where a man had donated his wife's organs, much to the dismay of her relatives. The most amazing scene came when he walked into the room of the woman who had received his wife's heart. He sat in the dark as she slept and watched her heart monitor track each beat of his wife's heart. How could someone not want that heart to remain behind to continue to beat and continue to allow someone to finish their journey here?

Ok, I have taken enough of your time, but since I know Bob can be too humble a person to talk about himself, I wanted you to know that he is truly a remarkable human being. Well loved by his many brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. He is a rock to our family despite his illness. He is also one of the funniest people I have ever known. His humor and strength have certainly gotten us both through the worst of times. I am near retirement now, and pray for some years with my husband that are not marked with this day to day struggle for normalcy. I think the biggest loss to Bob through all of this is the ability to earn a living. He is a self-made man whose life soared until he was dealt this blow. Every day I see a little less of a sparkle in his eye

Dave, you are riding for someone, who in my view, is one of the most honorable people you would ever meet - he is an angel here on earth. And you Dave, will be in my prayers from this day forth - thank you for the light you are shedding on this issue and the light you have brought into our hearts.